I have the greatest home teachers ever.

Allen and Juan Carlos are so awesome. Just studs, all around.

Allen taught Jessica and I today on preparing for Conference this upcoming weekend. We've heard this lesson before all the time. But why did it have such an impact on me today?

He really prepared this and thought about it beforehand. His spirit is so strong, you really can just feel it emanating from him. I love it. I honestly just wanted to cry after the closing prayer. His testimony made me feel God's love for me so strongly, stronger than I've felt recently. And I'm so grateful for that.

His lesson was as follows. In Mosiah, we see that the people were pointing their tents toward the temple, where King Benjamin, a prophet, was going to speak. They were pointing themselves towards the word of God. But if we look in Genesis, Lot and his family lived in the fields but with their tents pointed towards Sodom. A few chapters later, we see that his family ends up living in Sodom, a wicked city. It shows that where you point yourself, your life, your thoughts, is where you will end up.

He tied this in with Conference, saying that if we take this week to prepare, to point our tents towards the prophets and their teachings, we will really get a lot out of it. If we pray and prepare ourselves with questions and actively participate, then we will feel God's spirit and love for us. He will answer our questions, He will strengthen us, He will comfort us. That hit me so hard. It's been a tough week, no matter what my outer shell says, and I have really been seeking some comfort. And now I know that I can get it this weekend. If I prepare myself and really focus on pointing my entire self towards God, then He will bless me for it. And I will be comforted and I will be happier.

I'm trying to look forward, to stop thinking about the past and the what-ifs and the maybes. I really love this verse, which has never hit me so hard as right now:

"Where, ye must press forward with a steadfastness in Christ, having a perfect brightness of hope, and a love of God and of all men..." --2 Nephi 31: 20

That's exactly what I want to be doing, should be doing, is really pressing forward instead of kind of dawdling or being still or looking back. And doing so with a perfect brightness of hope. That's been hard-- it's been difficult to be hopeful recently. I'd rather just pity myself and be angry at people and their mistakes and my own. But we are commanded to have hope. And honestly, it just feels better to have hope anyway. And finally, to have a love of God and of all men. Which means loving people who hurt you. Loving people who annoy you. Loving people who might seem to suck at the time. Maybe you just don't see exactly what they're thinking or going through. Maybe they don't really mean to hurt you. (Which never seems to make me feel better anyway, because you still end up hurt even if they didn't mean to. It seems just a dumb cop-out to me.) Regardless, we are also commanded to love, and loving also makes us happier. So I really need to just do it. Hard as it is.

Anyway. It's been an enlightening Sunday and I hope to really prepare myself well for General Conference this week. I hope I can focus and think of Christ often and talk to Him often and get that comfort I am seeking. I challenge you all to do the same! I know that if we will point ourselves and our tents towards God and His word through His prophets, we will really be blessed and it will help us progress towards being more like Him and being happy. :)

I took this my freshmen year while enjoying a spring afternoon with my friends. I like it because it's so peaceful and nature along with man-made structures are so beautiful.

March Photo Entries

For this blog: http://thecreativewall.blogspot.com/

The theme for March was "Color." I liked both of these a lot.

I didn't take these in March. The first one is in Salar Uyuni, or the Salt Flats in Bolivia. We were on one of the islands there. The second picture is a little street vendor by the temple in Cochabamba, Bolivia. I took both last summer. (Sorry! I didn't take many cool photos this month..)

Enjoy!

I've discovered the secret to getting over someone

Just watch a surgery!

I'm shadowing an Orthopedic PA right now and he assists on surgeries and let me watch them work today! So I had to get up at 6:30am and drive down to Payson. They gave me scrubs to change into, got some booties for my feet, a cap for my head, and off I went. I watched two total knee replacement surgeries. Two hours per surgery. I was kinda tired at the end (I also got no sleep the past two days) but it was so awesome!! I was at the head, so I got to see a lot of it which was awesome. It's crazy, they use this computer and laser stuff to get a picture of the knee on the screen then use it to make sure the knee is as balanced as they can get it, then there's tons of drilling and pounding and shaving off bone and cutting bone and cauterizing and all sorts of stuff. It's not very bloody, but there's lots of drilling and cutting of bone. The cauterizing smells bad, but not too bad, but I keep smelling it now and I wonder if the smell stuck on me. Then they fit it with metal parts and use this weird cement stuff to stick it on (which I'll tangent about in a second) and sew it back up!

The cement stuff is cool. They gave me a ball of it and told me to play around with it. It takes about 15 minutes to get hard, and it gets super super hot while it does so. So I had to toss it from hand to hand so I didn't burn myself. Then it was rock hard! Sweet stuff man.

On the second surgery, the anesthesiologist described to me everything he was doing while prepping the patient, which was way nice of him. He showed me how to intubate someone which is so scary and I'm scared to do it in the future! He did it so easily though...

The PA didn't do too much, he assisted and then stitched up at the end, but I wonder how other surgeries are, like cardiothoracic or abdominal. I wonder how they utilize their PAs. It made me rethink if I want to do surgery or not. I bet ER medicine would be sweet. Right now my number one pick is still infectious disease though. I know I know, I just want to be House. Ha.

Anyways-- I feel great! What a high. Medicine is so freaking cool.

"Summer in the City" --Regina Spektor

Random thoughts:

I love my laptop.

I'm so grateful to be alive. It's so easy to die nowadays. Funny statement, a bit odd, I know. But think about it. How easy is it to get in a car accident. To get hit walking to school. And even snowboarding is so ridiculously dangerous. How grateful I am to be safe, physically. It's nuts.

March has gone by so so fast. It's already over halfway over-- I barely had time to catch my breath. It still feels like the first week of March. It still feels like the end of February. Where did the time go?

I'm getting older. I'm becoming a real adult. I'm taking the GRE this summer. This time next year I'll be planning out the next phase of my life living-wise. I could be going anywhere in the country! I'm applying to 12 PA schools-- that gives me a lot of room for tons of options. It's exciting but also so nerve-racking. Venturing out into the real world (hopefully not) on my own. Man.

The nice weather makes me so happy. It feels like summer. It feels like spring. It feels like school ending. It feels like cleaning checks, moving out, saying goodbye. For once I'm not saying goodbye for the summer! I'm excited. It'll be fun. Even though I'll be super busy and still studying a butt-load, I'll be having lots of fun I'm sure.

Hum...

why I had/am having the best week ever

I just want to remember these good times, the small things and the big things and the tender mercies that made me so happy:

• Monday: a great lesson on forgiveness at FHE. Really yummy cookies.
• Tuesday: Institute and FREE dinner!
• Wednesday: Meeting Kenny's family-- super amazing people, truly. And delicious dinner.
• Thursday: Phlebotomy, of course. :) Treats from Fabio. Getting lots of hw done at the library.
• Friday: Got to teach for Malcolm, my boss!! It was scary but really awesome too. I'm glad I know I can teach last minute and not freak out too much about it. Good times. Then movie night with Kenny's family-- also super fun. :) Then playing Killer Bunnies with the roommates & co. and WINNING!!! Haha.
• Saturday: Stake Enrichment-- free delicious lunch and lots of awesome recipes!! I can't wait to try them out!! Then, the ballet with Jessica! Our first outing together, haha, and it was so beautiful and cool. First was West Side Story (I really want to watch the film now) and then Romeo and Juliet. I liked WSS better, it was more contemporary, but R & J was dang good too. And now I get to chill and get things done then have roommate date night!! Graham cracker houses-- I'm so excited! I haven't made these in at least a few years..!
• I don't remember which day it was-- but I ran into so many people I love!!! Got ice cream with Caroline, Kenny, Jamie, Justin, and Adam!! Had lunch with Bart later!! And the beautiful weather this week was amazing as well. I'm so excited for spring!!

I wish I had written these down throughout the week because I know other just really good small things happened that were such a... blessing. Little things. But I really have had just the best week ever!! I'm so happy. :) I hope things keep on going well. And if they don't, I hope I'll still be able to enjoy life the best I can.

Plus it was like free food extravaganza!!! Which always makes me happy.

From last week's elementary science project date (making exploding volcanoes!!) (making the play doh, Kenny's volcano explosion, a jigglypuff I made from leftovers (it's dang good isn't it??)):