there has been lots to think about and feel

I'm just going to write all the unrelated thoughts I've had in the past while.

Being married is going to be hard, I think. Ok not being married, being a wife. In the traditional sense. Yesterday was my first real day of being like that. I rushed during my lunch break to get groceries for dinner, had to surf for recipes to make, rushed home to hurry and make it before Austin got home, then we had to rush to look at some couches (of which we made a purchase!! and had a hassle getting a truck for transport but it all worked out in the end), then while Austin was studying I did the dishes, washed the couch pillow covers we just got, went shopping for his little brother's b-day gift and returned some things at Target, and dropped off a wedding invitation before heading home to clean the rest of the apartment. It was exhausting! No it wasn't exactly mind-stressing work but holy cow I just wanted to sit and relax and not be cooking or cleaning. I thought it would be so fun doing all that domestic stuff but after a day of playing house, I'm done with it. :)

I keep getting patients who are old women whose husbands have recently died. It hits me hard because it would kill me if Austin died right now. And yet these women have been married for so long and love their husbands so much more... it kills me.

We're heading to Arizona this week and I'll visit Austin's hometown Mesa for the first time! Crazy huh? I'm pretty stoked. Then we're doing the crazy run in the Grand Canyon. I'm just doing the 26 miler though. And no, you don't run the whole time, a ton of it is just hiking. But still. If the 20 miles at Havasupai killed me, I'm sure I will die this time too, haha. But it's going to be so fun!!!!!

We have acquired a couch as previously mentioned and a dining set off KSL, the most wonderful classifieds website in the world. I'm so excited, our apartment is finally looking like a home! Now for a bed and dresser... then an entertainment center... then a nightstand... well, I did purchase 2 lamps today, for only $10! A steal, right? Well, not if you somehow break one of them on the way back. Yeah, somehow the wire snapped in two and I can't find the other half, the part that plugs into the wall. BIZARRE huh?? I have no idea what happened b/c I'm pretty dang sure I didn't shut it in the door but even then, it wouldn't have snapped, it had to have been dragged by something.... I don't know. But I'm pretty bummed, I was so happy to have a matching set... but my coworker thinks I can just rewire it. Time for another home project! Oh we also have a coffee table that we are painting dark brown. Yay! So is black and brown finally an ok combination? Because that's what our dining set is. Doesn't seem fashionably-incorrect anymore. Hope it isn't!

It's weird because I feel like I shouldn't be busy what with less wedding stuff to prepare and such, but I still have absolutely jam-packed days and have to keep postponing things. You wouldn't think you could be this busy when you're not in school and just working, but boy you can be. It's hard b/c all my friends are uber busy too and it seems like we just don't have time for each other anymore. Hopefully things settle down after we get married and I can visit them more. Although they will still be uber busy so maybe it still won't happen. :(

I AM REALLY EXCITED FOR NEXT SATURDAY........!!!!!!!!! Less than two weeks! I can't believe it! I went to my last singles ward this week. Crazy huh!? I will now be in a couples or family ward for the rest of my life. Crazy crazy crazy. Can't even believe it. I am so so so excited but at the same time scared and also feel like it's just not going to happen. I can't anticipate how big a change this will be, because it is so big a change. Everything will be different. Forever. No temporary here. That is just so insane to me. I cannot comprehend it at all... hopefully it is all very good and once it happens I ease into it well. Let's cross our fingers for a good transition!! :) It'll be funny getting married over the weekend then coming right back to work on Monday. Ha!

I still need a dress for the luncheon. And a new purse. And swimsuit. But I got brown heels, finally! Mom you'll be so proud, I should send you pics they are SO cute. Kinda uncomfortable though... pain for beauty. Oh well. :)

I haven't taken pictures in so long. I want a new camera. I want to renew my love for photos.