I'm listening to some really giggly girls right now... holy. Was I ever like that?
The real purpose of this post is to write about love.
It's such a confusing thing. There are so many different aspects. It seems so easy for some people but so hard for others. I think I'll just bullet my separate thoughts about it and see if anyone can make any sense of it.
Love unconditionally. We're supposed to, but it seems impossible, at least when you're talking about a romantic love. I used to think, no, you really need to. But how can you love someone who's being a jerk? What if someone doesn't treat you the way they should? What if they change? Then do you have to go on loving them for it to be real? Or can love end and change? Does that mean it wasn't real love in the first place?
How do you love someone without the condition that they love you back? How can you possibly put your heart out there and love a person for them, but without any conditions that they treat you well or are good to you or love you back? It doesn't make sense to me. Or maybe it's so difficult I can't wrap my brain around it.
Love is such a big deal. It's this huge thing. I wonder if very many people even really truly feel it at all. But I want to rush into it, I want to feel loved and love someone so much that I'm just so happy about it. I want to feel that lovin' feelin'!!! But if it's this really huge deal, it's obviously a lot of work as well. And it's something that doesn't come quickly. It's something that takes a whole lotta time. Because you have to get to know someone and realize that you really do truly love them, want to give everything to them, for them. It takes time for that. But I don't want time, I don't want to wait, I want it now!
And so I'll think I feel it. But I'm almost certain it's not for real. It's just me wanting it so badly that tricks myself into feeling it. Right? Maybe? But I don't want to be fake. I want to be patient and have the real thing. Rushing into things always screws everything up. I'm trying to be patient.
That brings up another point though. Is love a decision? Do people fall in love or do people choose to love? To be in love? I feel like it is a decision. You actively decide that you love them and you're going to do something about it. So you show it. Can you rush love? Can you speed it up? Can you simply decide you will and do it? And that's that? Or can you really.. fall in love? But then this just goes full circle and makes me wonder about loving with reciprocation. It sounds romantic, the idea, of loving without needing anything in return, but how many people really realize what that means? And how many people can actually do it?
I don't know. It all confuses me. I want some love guru to give me wise counsel or something. Where's a fortune cookie..
4 comments:
Beautiful post Jean. And when you find that love guru or fortune cookie, please send them my way!
my friend said his conclusion of what love is is that there is no universal definition or boundary; it's what each person makes of it. so, if you think what you feel is what you think real love is, then it is love. LOL iono how much that helps you.
why don't you talk to some long-married couples? aren't those the wise love gurus you seek?
always the impatient jean :)
Well... I'm not a love guru nor long married, but I think something to keep in mind is that true love is unconditional, but that it can change. Which is why sticking it our through hard times is possible. You can definitely fall out of love with someone. Even someone you were very close to. But I know falling back in love with them is possible, whether I'd have to weather that storm or not. A wise man once told me 'no one ever fell in love without wanting to'. I don't think that EVERY part of love is a choice, but there are definitely elements of choice involved in it. If you really really want to love someone no matter what they do to you, that is possibe. It's going to take work though.
The thing about unconditional love is that the unconditional part is YOU. Would you want to give your heart to someone with strings attached?
Love can be quick and fun and you can jump into it, but rememeber that love is also in the little things. Holding a hand after a long day of being stressed out. Just sitting in the same room with someone you love can fill you with joy. But more often than not I think love is what you don't feel. It's your heart quietly attaching strings to the things that you hold most dear.
Me and Anna were talking and we decided that you just need to call us. : )
Also, love and what you do with it are separate. You can love someone, but if someone is really hurting you, that doesn't mean you need to stay with them. People shouldn't feel like they don't love someone just because they really need to get out of a situation. Those are separate things.
The end of love doesn't invalidate it. People change, so why shouldn't love?
There is no one-size fits all description of love anyway. You need to find it for yourself, 'cause no love guru in the world can tell you how you feel/show love.
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